The Value of a Year: Holding children back or pushing them forward
19 October 2006“Nobody ever was successful because they were the youngest in the class,” said Betsy Newell, director of the Park Avenue Christian Church Day School.
“The gift of a year, that’s what I always say to parents,” Mrs. Newell added. “The gift of a year is the best gift you can give a child.”
Preschoolers Grow Older as Parents Seek an Edge - New York Times - by Elissa Gootman
I came across this recently, and found myself at the complete opposite end of the spectrum. The NY Times story is about the growing but disturbing trend of holding back youngsters in Kindergarden, so that they are older when they get to elementary school, and therefore have a greater chance to succeed.
There is some logic to this, reinforced by the Freakonomics concept that star athletes are born earlier in the year, are therefore stronger and better than their peers at a given age group, and therefore get the most development work and coaching focus, thus making them into better players. There is an intersting article in the NY times about it.
Now I’ll be the first to state that the world is in fact becoming ever more competitive, as we release lots of smart, ambitious, hungry, well educated young people into the same job market as us sheltere Americans (and Wester Europeans too for the most part). But I fundamentally disagree with the first statement above.
I came from pretty much the opposite side of this issue. I had always
been on the young side of the curve, with a July birthday, and come middle school, I was doing fine, even excelling to a point that I had acquired enough credits to skip 9th grade. One of those credits was for Pre-Calculus, whichI took in 8th grade at the nearby high school, since it wasn’t offered in my middle school. I was the youngest by at least 3 years, and you know what, I succeeded partly because I was the youngest, in flat out contradiction of Mrs. Newell. I felt I had to prove myself, and by the end of the year, the high school juniors and seniors were asking me for help.
Regarding the second statement, about the value of a year, I agree with the wording, but disagree with what Mrs. Newell means. I look at it from a completely opposite view point. The value of a year, and the “gift of a year” is to do something MORE with that year, to be pushed to a point where you are more advanced than your peers age wise, and therefore have seen and done more, and have used that additional year to challenge yourself, not to become the big man on the elementary school campus.
That brings me back to the option of skipping 9th grade. Being in 8th grade, one does not necessarily see or understand the entire world, and while the final decision was clearly up to me, I was definitely pushed by my parents. I decided to do it, skip a year, mainly because my personality loves challenges, and I feel that challenges bring out the superlatives in a person. Notice I didn’t say best, sometimes it can bring out the worst, force people to crack under pressure, but challenges serve as great polarizers in life. Thinking about it, my love for challenges probably stems from my love for polarizing situations and factors. The social and intellectual challenges (more of the former, and believe me, there were plenty) helped form me into who I am today.
So my partents (with the immature and naive approval of my 8th grade self) gave me the gift of a year, in the opposite way as these NYC parents are doing. And looking back, it was in fact the best gift they could have given me. During my freshman year in college, I learned more, experienced more, exposed myself to more, challenged myself more than I ever would have in that same year as a senior in high school.
Coddlng someone into a false sense of security is not doing anyone a favor. At some point they’ll feel bad for being a year or two older than the rest of the class. But at least they were successful in elementary school.
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